"Take the wheel, Harry!" said the nervous lady driver. "There's a tree coming straight for us!"
Do you want some help using the Internet, son? No thanks, Dad, I can muck it up all by myself.
How do you make a Gorilla float? Two scoops of ice cream, some club soda and a very tasty Gorilla!
A hotdog walks into a bar and orders a beer. The bartender replies, "Sorry, we don't serve food here".
What's a bees favourite novel ? The Great Gats-bee !
1st Cannibal: I don't know what to make of my boyfriend these days. 2nd Cannibal: How about a hotpot ?
A blonde walks down the street and sees a banana peel a hundred yards ahead, and she sighs. "Here we go again."
What has 3 tails, 4 trunks and 6 feet ? An elephant with spare parts !el
Nurse: Would you like an appointment for next week? Patient: No, I'm sick now.
Q:What do you get when you cross a snake and a kangaroo? A:('A jump rope')"
Your so bald, I can see what your thinking.
I just sent my first e-mail. Kongratulations!
What sickness do cowboys get from riding wild horses? Bronchitis (bronc-itis).
Teacher: I hope I didn't see you looking at Fred's test paper. Pupil: I hope you didn't see me either!
Question: If a man speaks in the forest and there is no woman around to hear him, is he still wrong?
The four food groups: Fast, Frozen, Instant, and Chocolate.
What kind of dog always needs a shave? A bearded collie!
Teacher: Name two pronouns ? Pupil: Who ?, me ?
Why don't bananas snore? Because they don't want to wake up the rest of the bunch.
The Ten Commandments Of Employment If it rings, put it on hold. If it clunks, call the repairman. If it whistles, ignore it. If it's a friend, stop work and chat. If it's the boss, look busy. If it talks, take notes. If it's handwritten, type it. if it's typed, copy it. If it's copied, file it. If it's Friday, forget it!