What would you get if you crossed a dinosaur with a pig? Jurassic pork!
What do you always get on your birthday? Another year older!birt
Why did the nutty kid throw a glass of water out of the window? He wanted to see a waterfall.
When is a parent like a child? When he's a miner.
The surgeon told his patient that woke up after having been operated: "I'm afraid we're going to have to operate you again. Because, you see, I forgot my rubber gloves inside you." "Well, if it's just because of them, I'd rather pay for them if you just leave me alone."
Why did the spotted pigs run away? They thought the traveling salesman told the farmer to put his name on the dotted swine.
What do you get when you pour hot water down a rabbit hole? A Hot Cross bunny.
If a fly has no wings would you call him a walk?
Did you hear about the horse that has made a dozen films? He's not a star though, he just does bit parts!
Collection Litter by Phil D Basket
A rabbit's favourite Christmas song? 'Lettuce with a gladsome mind'
Where can you always find money? In the dictionary.
What do you call a stupid ant? Antwerp.
Boy: Did you know you can get fur from a three headed mountain monster? Girl: Really? What kind of fur? Boy: As fur away as possible!
What is the difference between an elephant and a flea? An elephant can have fleas but a flea can't have elephants !
What works in a circus, walks a tightrope and has claws ? An acrocat !
Mother: Jared, get your little sister's hat out of that puddle. Jared: I can't mum, she's got it strapped too tight under her chin!
A little girl climbed into her grandfather's lap and studied his white, balding head. She ran her fingers along the deep wrinkles and road mapped his face and neck. "Did god make you?", she asked. "yes" he answered. "did god makeme, to?" she wondered. "yes", he replied. "well, she shrugged, "don't you think he's doing a better job now than he used to?"
FIRST HUMAN BOY: I can lift a monster with one hand. SECOND HUMAN BOY: Bet you can't! FIRST HUMAN BOY: Find me a monster with one hand and I'll prove it.
Who delivers Easter treats to all the fish in the sea? The Oyster Bunny!