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Confucius Say ... When your ship comes in, make sure you are willing to unload it.

Confucius Say ... Man who jumps through screen door likely to strain himself.

Confucius Say ... The trouble with bucket seats is that, not everybody has the same size bucket.

Confucius Say ... Women are like rocks......We skip the flat ones.

Confucius Say ... If you want a committed man, look in mental hospital!

Confucius Say ... The only thing divorce proves is whose mother was right in the first place.

Confucius Say ... Man who give up all hope of ever having a flat stomach will Abdicate.

Confucius Say ... At the feast of ego, everyone leaves hungry.

Confucius Say ... The toilet of the Star Ship Enterprise contains `the captains log`.

Confucius Say ... The only thing shorter than a weekend is a vacation.

Confucius Say ... If a soda can goes to college, it will take fizz ed.

Confucius Say ... Man who stand on toilet is high on pot!

Confucius Say ... It`s ok to look back at the past....Just don`t stare at it.

Confucius Say ... Best time to buy new mattress, at first sign of spring.

Confucius Say ... Miners with illuminated helmets, will feel lightheaded.

Confucius Say ... Vegetarian is an Indian word meaning, lousy hunter.

Confucius Say ... The best way to get a woman to argue with you, is to say something.

Confucius Say ... When TV repairman got married, the reception was excellent.

Confucius Say ... It is better to give than receive- especially advice.

Confucius Say ... He who crosses the ocean twice without bathing is a dirty double crosser.