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Confucius Say ... Sex is like a Ford Explorer. Going too fast may cause a roll-over injury

Confucius Say ... Always wear Stealth condoms...they`ll never see you coming.

Confucius Say ... Happiness is seeing your mother-in-law`s face on the back of a milk carton.

Confucius Say ... Education is the path from cocky ignorance to miserable uncertainty.

Confucius Say ... Tact is the unsaid part of what you`re thinking. Confusious say... Dog may be man`s best friend, but pussy not far behind.

Confucius Say ... Gynecologist and a pizza delivery boy much alike. Both can smell it, but they can`t eat it.

Confucius Say ... Argument between pharmacist and a patient is called a pill owe fight

Confucius Say ... A streaker is someone who is unsuited for his work.

Confucius Say ... The inventor of shag carpet made a big pile.

Confucius Say ... Though no one can go back and make a brand new start, anyone can start from now and make a brand new ending.

Confucius Say ... He who places head in sand, will get kicked in the end!

Confucius Say ... If the shoe fits, get another one just like it.

Confucius Say ... The mind is like a parachute; it works much better when it`s open.

Confucius Say ... The best defense against rape, is to beat off the attacker.

Confucius Say ... It rarely occurs to teenagers that the day will come when they`ll know as little as their parents.

Confucius Say ... If you worry about yesterday`s failures, todays successes will be few.

Confucius Say ... He who crosses the ocean twice without bathing is a dirty double crosser.

Confucius Say ... Seven days on honeymoon make one hole weak.

Confucius Say ... Man who checks out woman`s package, dosen`t always work for UPS.

Confucius Say ... Men are like Lava lamps. Fun to look at, but not all that bright.