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Confucius Say ... Watch a woman eat an ice cream cone and you`ll have a pretty good idea how she`ll be in bed.

Confucius Say ... If someone calls you fat, don`t get angry... just turn the other chin.

Confucius Say ... Man who finds job at crystal ball company will make a fortune.

Confucius Say ... One cow spying on another cow is called a steak out.

Confucius Say ... Woman who dates trash collector, will get dumped.

Confucius Say ... A virgin on waterbed is called a cherry float.

Confucius Say ... Mother`s Day comes nine months after father`s day.

Confucius Say ... A transvestite is a man who likes to eat, drink and be Mary.

Confucius Say ... A Platonic Relationship develops after two good friends are tired of screwing each other.

Confucius Say ... Man who look to stale cookie for advice probably make good busboy.Ask waitress for application.

Confucius Say ... If the shoe fits, get another one just like it.

Confucius Say ... girl who has sex in Egyptian tomb may soon become mummy

Confucius Say ... The white powder found on your penis after a blind date is called Handthrax

Confucius Say ... Learn to masturbate--come in handy.

Confucius Say ... learn to masturbate...come in handy.

Confucius Say ... Since a lawyer joined our nudist colony, he hasn`t had a suit.

Confucius Say ... The difference between roast beef and pea soup is that anyone can roast beef.

Confucius Say ... Dirty hands make your nose itch.

Confucius Say ... Economy will go up and down when country is run by yo-yo`s

Confucius Say ... A drunk who works at an upholstery shop is a recovering alcoholic