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I believe in respect for the dead; in fact, I could only respect you if you WERE dead.

A 10K brain attached to a 9600 baud mouth.

Don't you realize that there are enough people to hate in the world already without your working so hard to give us another?

In the next life, you'll blaze a way for us.

Yo momma's so stupid it takes her 2 hours to watch 60 mineuts.

Did your parents ever ask you to run away from home?

Your wife said she liked seafood. So I gave her crabs.

He is the kind of a man that you would use as a blueprint to build an idiot.

Well, I'll see you in my dreams -- if I eat too much.

Can I borrow your head for my rock garden?!

Yo momma is like a bowling ball she comes back for more

You are down to earth, but not quite far down enough.

You're so dumb you think manual labor is a Mexican!

I hear the only place you're ever invited is outside.

I'll hit you so hard your wife will fall!

I'll never forget the first time we met - although I'll keep trying.

You are pretty as a picture and we'd love to hang you.

I hear you changed your mind! What did you do with the diaper?

At least you are not obnoxious like so many other people -- you are obnoxious in a different and worse way!

I've hated your looks from the stare they gave me.