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You're very smart. You have brains you never used.

A brain like a BB in a boxcar / box of Corn Flakes.

If I had change for a buck, I could have been your dad!

Yo momma's so fat she walked in front of the tv and I missed 3 commercials.

Man alive! But I wish you weren't.

You're so fat if you got your shoes shined, you'd have to take his word for it!

All of your girlfriends kiss you with their eyes closed. Considering your face, that's the only way they could.

Learn from your parents' mistakes - use birth control!

The thing that terrifies me the most is that someone might hate me as much as I loathe you.

I want to reach your mind - where is it currently located?

Your so ugly, your mother had to tie a steak around your neck to get the dog to play with you

Lets play house. You be the door and I'll slam you.

I thought of you all day today. I was at the zoo.

Since my last report, your child has reached rock bottom and has started to dig.

Can I borrow your head for my rock garden?!

There are several people in this world that I find obnoxious and you are all of them.

People say that you are outspoken, but not by anyone that I know of.

Yo momma's so poor she dj's for the ice cream truck.

You're so ugly when you walk into a bank, they turn the cameras off!

Sure, I'd love to help you out...now, which way did you come in?