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When you get run over by a car, it shouldn't be listed under accidents.

You so stupid you probably think Taco Bell is where you pay your telephone bill.

All that you are you owe to your parents. Why don't you send them a penny and square the account?

Let's play horse. I'll be the front end and you be yourself.

I'll hit you so hard your kids will be born dizzy!

If I would like to hear from an asshole, I’d fart!

You must be the arithmetic man -- you add trouble, subtract pleasure, divide attention, and multiply ignorance.

Calling you an idiot would be an insult to all the stupid people.

After hearing you talk, I now know that the dead do contact us.

Here's 20 cents. Call all your friends and bring back some change!

He emits an air of overwhelming vanity combined with some unspecific nastiness, like a black widow spider in heat. But nobody seems to notice. He could be reciting 'Fox's Book of Martyrs' in Finnish and these people would be rolling out of their seats.

Why don't you bore a hole in yourself and let the sap run out?

You've never been outspoken; no one has ever been able to.

Yo momma's so stupid I said let's go to the superbowl and she ran and got a spoon.

A black-and-white mind working on a color-coded problem.

You were born because your mother didn't believe in abortion; now she believes in infanticide.

You're red shirt goes well with your eyes...

I don't consider you a vulture. I consider you something a vulture would eat.

Yo momma so small she gotta hang glide on a Dorito.

Yours was an unnatural birth; you came from a human being.