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Would you like to replace my business partner who died this morning? I'll arrange it with the undertaker.

I never forget a face, but in your case I'll make an exception.

Next time you shave, try standing an inch or two closer to the blade.

I believe in respect for the dead; in fact I could only respect you if you WERE dead.

I heard that you were a Ladykiller. They take one look at you and die of shock.

You should toss out more of your funny remarks; that's all they're good for.

You're so ugly, if you stuck your head out the window, they'd arrest you for mooning!

You are down to earth, but not quite far down enough.

I know you are nobody's fool, but maybe someone will adopt you.

Don't you have a terribly empty feeling -- in your skull?

Is your name Laryngitis? You're a pain in the neck.

I've had many cases of love that were just infatuation, but this hate I feel for you is the real thing.

You're so dumb you think socialism means partying!

You are so boring that you can't even entertain a doubt.

Yo momma's so so fat when she steped on a scale it said to be contiued!

I'd like to see things from your point of view but I can't seem to get my head that far up my ass.

No one should be punished for accident of birth but you look too much like a wreck not to be.

Anyone who told you to be yourself couldn't have given you worse advice.

If I said anything to you that I should be sorry for, I'm glad.

I'll hit you so hard by the time you come down, you'll need a passport and a plane ticket back!