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The overwhelming power of the sex drive was demonstrated by the fact that someone was willing to father you.

I'd like to help you out. Which way did you come in?

If you ever become a mother, can I have one of the puppies?

I heard you got a brain transplant and the brain rejected you!

The student has a "full six-pack" but lacks the plastic thing to hold it all together.

If you ever become a mother, can I have one of the puppies?

Shouldn't you have a license for being that ugly?

You should toss out more of your funny remarks; that's all they're good for.

You were the answer to a prayer. Your parents prayed that the world would be made to suffer and here you came along. You're a habit I'd like to kick; with both feet!!

I admire you because I've never had the courage it takes to be a liar, a thief, and a cheat.

Is your name Maple Syrup? It should be, you sap.

Yo momma like a goalie: Changes pads after three periods.

They say no woman ever made a fool out of you. So who did?

You never strike out blindly; you fail in the light.

I don't consider you a vulture. I consider you something a vulture would eat.

I'll hit you so hard your wife will fall!

You've got the perfect weapon against muggers - yer face.

You're so fat if you weighed five more pounds, you could get group insurance!

I hear the only place you're ever invited is outside.

Yo momma like a shotgun: Give her a cock and she blows.