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Here's 20 cents. Call all your friends and bring back some change!

Save your breath...You'll need it to blow up your date.

You have a face only a mother could love - and she hates it!

I feel sorry for you because you are so homely, but I feel even sorrier for other people because they have to look at you.

I used to think that you were a big pain in the neck. Now I have a much lower opinion of you.

A couplet short of a sonnet.

I thought of you all day today when I was at the zoo.

You're so ugly they know what time you were born, because your face stopped the clock!

How did you get here? Did someone leave your cage open?

The thing that terrifies me the most is that someone might hate me as much as I loathe you.

Do you have to leave so soon? I was about to poison the tea.

You have a lot of well-wishers. They would all like to throw you down one.

I don't hold your behavior against you because I realize it was caused by childhood trauma; your parents spanked you when you fell on your head and broke the cement.

When you get to the men`s room, you will see a sign that says, "Gentlemen."

I hear you are a real humanitarian. You have kept three or four detectives working regularly.

My kid got your honor student pregnant!

You're acquitting yourself in such a way that no jury ever would.

I'm very careful of how I express my opinions of you because I want to put as much vituperation in them as possible.

You must have a low opinion of people if you think they're your equals.

I know what sign you were born under...'RED LIGHT DISTRICT'