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They say that travel broadens oneself. You must have been around the world.

They just invented a new coffin just for you that goes over the head. It's for people who are dead from the neck up.

Every time I'm next to you, I get a fierce desire to be alone.

Don't you need a license to be that ugly?

He's not stupid; he's possessed by a retarded ghost.

I know one should judge a man by what he really is instead of by appearances, but you are REALLY ugly.

Did your parents ever ask you to run away from home?

I always wanted to be a trouble-shooter, but now I see you are not worth it!

Save your breath...You'll need it to blow up your date.

I'll never forget the first time we met - although I'll keep trying.

Nobody says that you are dumb. They just say you were sixteen years old before you learned how to wave goodbye.

Take a vacation; go to Club Dead.

A 10K brain attached to a 9600 baud mouth.

Now she's at rest and so am I

I heard that you went to the haunted house and they offered you a job.

You're so ugly, if you stuck your head out the window, they'd arrest you for mooning!

Yo momma like a Denny's: Open 24 hours.

I'd like to break the monotony; where's your weakest point?

Ordinarily people live and learn. You just live.

Your so bald, when you wear a turtle neck you look like one!