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Now she's at rest and so am I

The next time you shave, could you stand a little closer to the razor?

Your Kid May Be An Honor Student But You're Still An Idiot.

Don't get me wrong. I`m not trying to make a monkey out of you. I can`t take the credit.

If you ever had a bright idea, it would be beginner's luck!

Yo momma like a screen door: After a couple bangs she loosens up!

Any friend of yours -- is a friend of yours.

When people cut their fingers you cry over it just so that you can get salt in the wound.

You are so dishonest that I can't even be sure that what you tell me are lies!

We heard that when you ran away from home your folks sent you a note saying, "Do not come home and all will be forgiven".

You so stupid you probably think Taco Bell is where you pay your telephone bill.

I heard you got a brain transplant and the brain rejected you!

I'll never forget the first time we met - although I'll keep trying.

I don't consider you a vulture. I consider you something a vulture would eat.

I always wanted to be a trouble-shooter, but now I see you are not worth it!

You're so ugly when you were born the doctor slapped your mother!

If you ever become a mother, can I have one of the puppies?

I wish you were all here. I don't like to think there is more!

You're so ugly you'd make a train take a dirt road!

Yo momma's so stupid she tried to comit suicide by jumping from the basement window.