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Look through your towels and tell us the name of the hotel you stayed at in Detroit.

Ever since I saw you in your family tree, I've wanted to cut it down.

Yo momma's so stupid she walked past the YMCA and said look, somebody spelled MACY'S wrong.

I heard you got a brain transplant and the brain rejected you!

You're so ugly when you were born, your mother saw the afterbirth and said "Twins!"

Hello -- tall, dark and obnoxious!

I heard that you went to the haunted house and they offered you a job.

It's impossible to believe that the sperm that created this child beat out 1,000,000 others.

If you want to get laid, crawl up a chicken's ass and wait!

Keep talking, someday you'll say something intelligent.

I would have been your dad, but the guy in front of me had exact change.

I believe in respect for the dead; in fact, I could only respect you if you WERE dead.

I thought of you all day today when I was at the zoo.

Man alive! But I wish you weren't.

You grow on people -- like a wart!

Yo momma house so small her washcloth makes wall-to-wall carpeting.

Yo momma like a vacuum cleaner: A real good suck.

No one should be punished for accident of birth, but you look too much like a wreck not to be.

I heard you went to see the doctor and told him that you wanted a little wart removed; so he had you thrown out of his office.

A half-wit gave you a piece of his mind, and you held on to it.