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Would you like to replace my business partner who died this morning? I'll arrange it with the undertaker.

You are so two-faced that any woman who married you would be married to a bigamist.

You got a face only a mother could love...unfortunately she too hates it!

You were born because your mother didn't believe in abortion; now she believes in infanticide.

Did your parents ever ask you to run away from home?

In the next life, you'll blaze a way for us.

Here lies my wife: here let her lie !

Don't you have a terribly empty feeling - in your skull?

Yo momma's so stupid she thought a one star hotel was the best rating

A few beads short in her rosary.

There are several people in this world that I find obnoxious and you are all of them.

If you don't want to give people a bad name, you will have your children illegitimately.

When you pass away and people ask me what the cause of your death was, I'll say your stupidity.

He has a mind like a steel trap - always closed!

I'd love to go out with you, but my favorite commercial is on TV.

Yo momma's so fat when she went into the pool she hydrated.

I heard that you went to the haunted house and they offered you a job.

I'll hit you so hard your wife will fall!

You're acquitting yourself in such a way that no jury ever would.

Better at sex than anyone; now all he needs is a partner.