I was only looking at your nametag, honest!
All the problems we face in North America today can be traced to an unenlightened immigration policy on the part of the American Indian.
I wish people who have trouble communicating would just shut up.
I bought a new boomerang but I can't seem to throw the old one away.
I am not honking because I love Jesus - I'm honking 'cause you can't drive
I graduated with a 4.0... Blood Alcohol level.
I used to be lost in the shuffle. Now I just shuffle along with the lost.
Why don't you slip into something more comfortable...like a coma.
Beauty is only skin deep and the world is full of thin skinned people.
The main trouble with mental notes is the ink fades so fast
I asked my mailman why my letters were all wet...he said "postage dew".
Stupidity does not qualify as a handicap, park elsewhere!
Hard work has a future payoff. Laziness pays off now.
Life is like a penis. Soft and hanging freely. It's women that make it hard.
I want my children to have all things I couldn't afford: Then I'll move in with them.
Blessed are they who can laugh at themselves for they shall never cease to be amused.
I worry that the person who thought up Rap may be thinking up something else.
If someone calls me fat, I don't get angry. I just turn the other chin.
99 percent of lawyers give the rest a bad name.
I don't think, therefore I am not.