I am reading a very interesting book about anti-gravity...I just can't put it down.
For every person with a spark of genius, there are a hundred with ignition trouble.
I'm as happily married as a husband can get
The trouble with the world is that the stupid are cocksure and the intelligent are full of doubt.
Everyone in the office is sick. Apparently, it is a staff infection.
If the shoe fits, buy it in every color.
Life's a buffet... so eat me!
The difference between genius and stupidity is that genius has its limits.
If time heals all wounds, how come the belly button stays the same?
Love is like a machine...sometimes you need a good screw to fix it.
The only time Success comes before Work is in the dictionary.
Men must have invented maps. Who else would make an inch into a mile?
I think my girlfriend has had sixty-one boyfriends before me. She calls me her sixty second lover.
Consultants have credibility because they aren't dumb enough to work at your company.
As the Jolly Green Giant could tell you, there's nothing like a good pea.
There are no new sins...the old ones just get more publicity.
I have a thing for blondes. Wanna see it?
I may not be Fred Flintstone but I can sure make your Bed-Rock.
Since when is talking a sign of thinking?
After our last argument, my wife told me: I hope your next wife appreciates the improvements I've made in you.