All men are not fools, there are still some bachelors.
Do women's breasts really swell in the summertime, or is it just me?
I gave up on computing dating after I was stood up by two mainframes, a PC, and a laptop.
Smoking helps you lose weight...one lung at a time.
Wealthy people miss one of life's greatest thrills...making the last car payment.
Dear women who are awesome, smart, sexy and deeply in love with me; Please start existing.
Microsoft is to software what McDonalds is to gourmet cooking.
The real reason women live longer than men because they don't have to live with women.
How does a high school boy propose? You're going to have a what ?
Why is it that most nudists are people you don't want to see naked?
When it comes to giving, some people stop at nothing.
Success is the ability to go from failure to failure without losing your enthusiasm.
Sex burns up 350 calories each time. Please help me, I'm on a diet.
Behind every great man is a puzzled woman.
Nothing is more wasted than a smile on the face on a Playboy centerfold.
After our last argument, my wife told me: I hope your next wife appreciates the improvements I've made in you.
Sign on a clothing store - Come inside and have a fit.
Men must have invented maps. Who else would make an inch into a mile?
I must be getting older. Lately, all I'm looking for is a one-night sit.
The best way to get ahead is to use the one you've got.